Update Soon

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Final update coming soon....I'm putting together all-time high scores, standings, etc. so just give me a little more time. As for the coaching search can Osborne just get it done already. I am rooting for a absolute grease fire of a hire. So hire the guy 1,247 teams have already told no thanks and get Pelini in here already. It is only a matter of time anyway.  I can guarantee you it will end in complete embarrassment, total and complete embarrassment if this caveman called Bo Pelini is actually hired.

Turner Gill...I can't even finish the sentence without laughing.

Fantasy Heisman

Your winner is Tim Tebow


2007: Tim Tebow
2006: Pat White
2005: Michael Bush

Chris now joins me and Tick for those who get to vote on this very prestigious award.

Josh Mai

Josh Mai is seen here (center kneeling) at the beach blowing of some steam after his most hated team Creighton bitch slapped Nebraska.

Robbery

3 years ago he was known as a "Super Bowl coach". Now he is refered to as a piece of garbage. He is seen here driving away with 3 million dollars plus of Husker fans money.

Your Champ; Chris Long

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large posts coming soon....season review, final standings, all-time standings, etc.

Ouch...stolen from blog

As the clock ticks slowly with the all the rhythm and pace of a Tom Osborne press conference, I guess I can take time out of my busy day counting down my team’s quest to take over the #1 spot in the BCS poll (Last week of November no less) to address your sorry ass situation.

I’m quite certain we will spend many a day throughout the off-season, breaking down just how in the hell you went from “BCS Contender” to 5-7 and unable to keep opposing teams from marching on you like Panzers down the Champs E’lysess. I’m not really kidding about that. After the game, Bo Ruud actually told channel seven that he felt they were legit BCS championship contenders back in the summertime. Do any of you poor saps finally get it? Do any of you morons finally understand that your delusional and myopia-fueled expectations were so far out there, that no team on earth could reach them? (At least without crashing and burning in a fiery explosion equal to that of the Hindenburg.)

I don’t personally doubt that NU has more talent than a 5-7 team. Hell, I’m not even sure Bill Callahan isn’t better than a 5-7 coach. But the X-factor in this entire failed expiernent..as I’ve said from day one…is you.

Your desire..your absolute bloodlust to get back into the national spotlight was so out of control, so beyond reality you were willing to convince yourself of anything. And unfortunately for you…warnings from people like me were not only ignored, but simply brushed off as “jealousy” or the “inability to understand the greatness of Husker football.”Tomorrow (or a few days after), your school will cut loose a coach that obviously didn’t understand the complete and total inability of you to hold a rational thought in your head. He said Joey Ganz and Sam Keller were neck and neck…you thought he was crazy. Bill Callahan downplayed the Big 12 North title and tried to convince others that nothing has been accomplished until you were able to win a close game. You instead made t-shirts.

Unfortunately for you, you’re now 5-7 and packing up your pads for another season. Teams like Purdue, Troy, Utah, Navy, Indiana, Houston, East Carolina and Nevada (remember them?) are gearing up for bowl games, while you light a candle and pray that you land either the head coach from Buffalo University..or a defensive coordinator with zero head coaching experience who’s defense has given up 28 points 4 of his last 5 games.Yes, it’s a great time to be a Husker fan, as you are left with a long and dark winter to be alone with your thoughts. The national championship game is still 44 days away. 44 days for you to sit around….kick around your 1971 National Championship trash can while you watch College Gameday talk about teams whom you are absolutely convinced you are STILL 10x better than.Perhaps someday soon you will get all this. Perhaps one day..after reading me type it for the 853rd time…you’ll realize that you aren’t that good. You were never that good. It’s not the coaches fault for sucking..it’s YOUR fault for believing in something that wasn’t there. I mean..if you have a buddy go in and buy a powerball ticket for you…do you blame HIM for your numbers not coming close?

Bill Callahan was brought in to do an impossible task…try and win on a consistent basis, for a group of fans and administrators who obviously have absolutely no clue what it takes to win…only that they used to do it a long long time ago. Callahan was screwed the second he signed his first contract. He brought in players. He slowly progressed. But when you people expected Jessica Alba to pop out of your cake…out sprang Rosie O'Donnell.

If anything..the guy should be praised for holding you at bay for so long. And he should ESPECIALLY be praised for not cracking under the pressure of 1.2 million or so irrational, arrogant, myopic and dysfunctional assistant coaches, who all feel they know more than he did.I’ll never say the guy was a great coach. You were never going to win with him..just as you’ll never win again without him. But regardless, he will be the link to your future for a long long time. I’d say the first time you’ll notice this is in about 4 years or so…when you finally MIGHT figure it out that today’s game has changed…and unfortunately, you haven’t.Meanwhile, Bill Callahan has 3 million little pieces of proof that you’ll never again amount to anything.Thanks for the ride Bill.It’s been fun.

Incompetence

Reality version: We both have no business having the jobs we do. Now leave so I can find a replacement to fuck the program over for years.....AGAIN

Lincoln media version: Jesus Christ is seen here shaking the hand of some peon. Jesus will

save the program right after he takes the brochure in his hand and magically turns it into a huge turkey to feed all the homeless people of Lincoln.

Lineups

Chris: Tebow, Davis, Savage, Kelly, Manuel Johnson (OU), Tate
Troy: McCoy, Forsett, Grant, McKinley, Cosby, Doucet
Craig: Flynn, Spiller, Jones, Parker, Monk, K.Williams

Josh: Ainge, Foster, Goodson, Stewart, Maclin, Turner
Kobza: McGee, Lane, Washington, Kelly, Fagg, Breazel

Everyone else...you blow thanks for playing and please pay asap so we can get the winners payed

2 slime ball over-rated trash cans

Friday Games

Troy: McCoy, Cosby, Doucet
Chris: no one
Craig: Flynn, Felix Jones, Monk, Kieland Williams
Josh: Turner on Thursday, 7.....Goodson
Kobza: McGee, Lane, Washington on Thursday, 9

Remember everyone get your lineups in....If you didn't take someone out for todays games they automatically go in if you had them in last week

Thurs game: USC/ASU

So far Josh has in Patrick Turner and Kobza has Chauncey Washington. If there is anymore I will post them here.

News and Notes

First things first quite possibly the best YouTube ever I found on a sports blog today. The best Mike Tyson audio clips ever. If you wathc one thing before you die I suggest this. My favorite one: Female reporter asks a question at press conference, Mikes reply..."Are you talking out of turn? I normally don't do interviews unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore..unless you wanna...you know."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwFW834Mrcc&eurl=http://barstoolsports.com/


Remember USC plays Thurs night and we have many games on Friday.

Playoff race totals: Chris 165, Troy 156, Craig 101


National Championship race....

Chris 1011
Troy 967
Josh 983
Craig 952

Reminder* Thurs/Friday games....New Youtube

Get your Thurs/Friday players in to me by Thurs at 6:00

Saturday players as usual

also we have a new youtube up....remix of Jessica Myrtle Spano

Week 12 Results

Darrin putting in his lineup Friday night.

Chris 71...Craig 40....Troy 72

Josh 119

Kobza 23

Bryan 50

Darrin 36

Mike 59

Tick 67

Beringer 68

Tyson 50

Frederick 7.....repeat 7

Hands down

the bext WR of our time. Owens, Harrison, whoever else...you couldn't even carry his jock

TD Morelli!!! Pay up Tick

The scene outside of Tyson's house just moments ago.

Tick is out 100 melons

Saturday Toast

Week 12 Lineups

Chris: Tebow, Davis, Savage, Royster, Kelly, Franklin

Craig: Dixon, Spiller, Hill, Bryant, Parker, Lafell

Troy: Moevao (Oreg St.) Forsett, T.Grant, Robiskie, Doucet, L.Taylor

Kobza: McGee, Hart, Lane, Washington, Fagg, Kelly

Josh: Ainge, Foster, Stewart, Z.Brown, Maclin, Hall

Mike: Daniel, Moreno, Murray, B.James, Hawkins, Hartline

Darrin: Ganz, Choice, Dwyer, Carr, Arrington, Rucker

Tick: Bradford, Benard, Temple, Caldwell, Butler, C.Brown

Bryan: Longshore, Hester, Patrick, D.Williams, Beckum, C.Brown

Beringer: Henne, Kinlaw, McFadden, J.Jackson, Manningham, Carlson

Tyson: Moreilli, Wells, James, Harvin, Jackson, E.Taylor

Frederick: Booty, S.Johnson, Hardesty, M.Bennett, Iglesias, Norwood

The battle for last place

Tick and Bryan are seen above battling it out for last place. Tick appears to hold the edge here as he just got a nice take down move on Bryan but the fight is not over just yet...Oh the suspense!!

Coaches eval

Lets just put it this way, the haters will say he is total garbage and the ND fans will overrate him.

To tell you the truth it is somewhere in the middle but I am not sure that will end up cutting it. Appears he can recruit but not sure if the NFL to college route will work as it rarely does. (yes I know there is a few exceptions like Poodle) In the end I say he is around a average CFB coach, maybe I am right, maybe I am wrong. Time will tell.

Cue the music

So I'm sitting there watching Dixon dice up Arizona to the tune of 11 fanatsy points in hte first 4 minutes of the game last night. Moments later the unthinkable happens. I sat there as my phone received about 5 texts within 15 minutes. I sat there staring blankly at the TV. Like I was in some stupid TV show I waited for the music to start playing in the background... http://youtube.com/watch?v=EHt3ia-snf0

:o(

$o what do you do when you $ee your $ole purpo$e for CFB go down before your very eye$? Huge bet...gone. Fantasy season....gone

You pick up the phone and in$tantly (about 2 minute$ after Dixon got hurt) call your $port$book to talk to $ome cat in $ome 3rd world country who can barely $peak Engli$h and cover your bet.

GO SOONER$

Thurs. Players...New YouTube

Dennis Dixon
J.Stewart

And in honor of one bad ass rivalry (Take notes NFL) game this weekend we have a new YouTube up

Coaches Profile; Chris Long

Likes: Pearson, Marlboro's, window-less cars, fried catfish,

hand jobs, under armour skull caps

Dislikes: any female not named Pearson, blow jobs, fruit punch skoal

So does his hair fall out every winter??

Telegraph.co.uk - An Indonesian fisherman who feared that he would be killed by tree-like growths covering his body has been given hope of recovery by an American doctor - and Vitamin A. Dede, now 35, baffled medical experts when warty "roots" began growing out of his arms and feet after he cut his knee in a teenage accident. To make ends meet he even joined a local "freak show", parading in front of a paying audience alongside victims of other peculiar diseases.

L-O-S-E-R...Loser

"Yep swear to God man. My shoes only cost 15 cents a pair. That would

be about 4 times as much as I am worth as a player."

New Youtube

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very old short video of Mutumbo aka Cookie Monster

I did this once at Woody's Pub

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from 100% injury rate:

“Guys this is probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. I was at my girlfriend’s house tonight for dinner, and shortly after I had to go #2. My Gf's brother was in the downstairs bathroom, so I went upstairs to use the master bathroom. I was about to take a dump, and I remembered something my friend told me called AC Slatering. AC Slatering is when you take a dump facing backwards on the toilet, just how on saved by the bell AC Slater always sat backwards on a chair. So when I was taking a dump, my stomach was facing the back of the toilet, and my back was facing the door. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and began to get nervous. Since AC Slatering is a tough position to get into, it requires taking off your pants. So there I am sitting in my GF's parent’s bathroom taking a dump with my pants off and facing the wrong way on the toilet. My dump was about halfway out when the footsteps became closer. I then turned around to see that I had not locked the door. Trying to finish as quickly as I could, I began pushing harder and harder. Suddenly, the door opened, and my gf's mom stood there in shock staring at me. We made eye contact for a split second, and I was so embarrassed I wanted to die. I quickly finished up, got dressed, and ran out of the house as quickly as I could. I am expecting my gf to break up with me tomorrow. I am so embarrassed and I hope my gf doesn’t blabber about this, Ill die if anyone else finds out.”
AC Slatering? I’ve never heard of that before. And even though I know this story is totally fake, I can’t help but feel like this is something I need to do before I die or at least before I get married. Maybe I’ll go AC Slatering all weekend long at my bachelor party. Because one thing is clear. You haven’t lived until you’ve taken a dump AC Slater style.

Bad News

As you all know by now Tyson and Tick have been fighting all year about the degree of Anthony Morelli's suckness. Tyson offered to bet Tick $100 he would get 18+ TD's on the year. (he needs only 1 more to get it with 1 game left)

Anyways Ticks fantasy management team and Tyson's both happened to be at the park this afternoon. Unfortunately they spotted each others groups and the rest is history. Will the hate between this two ever end?

See what happened here: http://my.break.com/content/view.aspx?ContentID=398334

Slimeball

BOTTLE-BLONDE FATTIES COST THE FACE OF NIKE $160M: The LONDON TIMES, via DEUCE OF DAVENPORT, reports what all those blonde fatties over the years ended up costing Michael Jordan: $160M. And that settlement between MJ and former maid wife Juanita is the largest celebrity divorce payout in history. The Times has the warm, fuzzy details of how the Jordan's relationship blossomed: "He was already a wealthy basketball star with the Chicago Bulls when the couple met on a blind date in 1984. He proposed a few months later but Juanita initially turned him down. A year after their marriage in Las Vegas, he signed a prenuptial agreement that entitled her to half his fortune, but she has claimed only a third."

Car of the day

Standings coming soon

Sorry folks to lazy to put the standings on here now, you can add them yourselves anyways...enjoy these for now....standings up tomorrow night hopefully

Wolverines 2-0

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ANN ARBOR, Mich. -- The University of Michigan men's basketball team won its second game of the season, a 72-57 victory over Brown Saturday afternoon (Nov. 11) in Crisler Arena. The first half marked an offensive explosion, as the Wolverines opened with a 12-2 run in the game's first five minutes, shooting a perfect four-of-four from the field, including three-point baskets from senior Ron Coleman (Romulus, Mich./Romulus HS) and freshmen Kelvin Grady (Grand Rapids, Mich./East Grand Rapids HS). Sophomore DeShawn Sims (Detroit, Mich./Detroit Pershing HS) took control in the second half, accounting for 14 of Michigan's 35 second-half points.

Week 11 Results

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Tim Tebow wears jorts. Tim Tebow also had 60 points yesterday. Repeat 60 points. All-Time record high for our league. Darrin also appears to have won himself $50 with the new high score of the year...126


Chris 94
Troy 84
Craig 60
....compare these to my predictions in the lineup post yesterday you puppies


Beringer 89
Frederick 58
Kobza 89
Bryan 68
Darrin 126
Tick 98
Josh 74
Tyson 54
Mike 85

Down goe$ the Buckeye$!!!

It i$ now in your hand$ Oregon...bring home the bread!!!

Reason to believe: part II

-Recruiting nerd version, 3 year spans

-from 2003-2005 Notre Dame had 11 recruits rated a 4 star or higher
-from 2006-2008, the current frosh, soph and next years frosh, Notre Dame has 37 of them. Assuming they hold on to all this years commits.

So whereas Losingham left ND and took the plates, cups, silverware and table settings with him leaving the table empty it appears Weis is at least "setting the table." So if he can't get the job done coaching the players then hopefully the next guy can.

Week 11 Lineups, Playoff edition

Well puppies today I am without my #1 QB and #1 RB. It also appears my #1 pick is done for the year. This on top of not having my #WR for almsot the entire year. Fuck you fantasy Gods...Fuck Fucking You

Troy: McCoy, Forsett, T.Grant, Doucet, Robiskie, L.Taylor...forecasted points 76

Chris: Tebow, Davis, Royster, Savage, Kelly, Franklin........forecasted points 89

Craig: Flynn, F.Jones, Spiller, D.Bryant, P.Parker, Monk...forecasted points 63

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Josh: Ainge, Foster, Goodson, Cooper, Maclin, Hall

Kobza: McGee, Hart, Lane, Kelly, Fagg, Washington

Mike: Daniel, Ore, Lester, Moreno, Hawkins, N.Jones

Beringer: Henne, Kinlaw, McFadden, J.Jackson, Manningham, Peterson

Frederick: Booty, Lucky, M.Davis, Bowman, Iglesias, Purify

Bryan: Longshore, Charles, D.Williams, Beckum, C.Brown, Patrick

Darrin: Ganz, Choice, Boyd, Carr, Arrington, Rucker

Tick: Bradford, Benard, Temple, Caldwell, Butler, Fannin

Tyson: Morelli, Wells, James, Jackson, Harvin, E.Taylor

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Can Morelli have a big day and serve Tick some humble pie?? They do play Temple today.

Coach Profile: Tyson Warm

Likes: Skoal rasberry, Skoal fruit punch, Skoal pineapple, Skoal rotten apple,

Skoal green apple, Skoal sour apple, Skoal chicken fried steak, Skoal ketchup

Skoal banana bread, Skoal rotten apples with worms, Skoal peach, Skoal mango,

Skoal egg nog, Skoal chicken tenders, Skoal grass clippings and Anthony Morelli.

Friday Crumpet

you are welcome