Monday, July 20, 2009

Return of the "Cromptonites"



20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Josh is a fucking virgin

Jeff Fisher said...

http://mediamatters.org/research/200907210023

Anonymous said...

Frederick

1. I took your advice and shaved my cock bald but cut my nuts up, what should I do?

2. When is the last time you watched porn?

3. Should Vick be allowed to play in the nfl this year?

4. You ever give a girl a "angry dragon"?

Frederick said...

1. I guess just let the cuts heal up and be more careful next time. You've got to trim the scrotum up before you take a blade to it. And make sure you get it nice and lathered up with shaving cream.

2. Probably about six months ago.

3. As much as I hate to say it, being that I'm a dog lover and I can't believe anybody would do the things he did, yes, I think he should be allowed assuming a team gives him a chance. He did his time. If he was released from prison then he should be allowed to work. Honestly, what else can he do? Work at a fast food joint?

4. Well I don't know what all an "angry dragon" entails but I'm assuming I have not.

Anonymous said...

we locked him up guys


Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz signed a new 7-year deal that will keep him at the school through 2015. Though he didn’t get a raise, one perk is certainly noteworthy - Ferentz will have personal use of a private plane for up to 35 hours a year.

Brook Beringer said...

Like Coach Ferentz above I also got use of a plane in my deal.

Frederick said...

Didn't realize there was a big Hawkeye contingent on this site.

Anonymous said...

fuck you Iowa fan

Josh Mai is a virgin

Anonymous said...

JOSH = VIRGIN

HAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

Fredrick

The next big thing/coach to get a big time cfb job and do very well is who?

Anonymous said...

Tick are you a virgin?

Anonymous said...

Josh is

BigJon said...

you guys all pay for rivals?

Tyson said...

You guys are having a great conversation!! But I must intervene and comment on the drafting of 9th string WR Brandon Kinnie of NU....two words super star!! You can find footage of him tearing things up for Raymond Central on Utube

Anonymous said...

I do not UNDERSTAND how fat ass Jaba the Hut Weis can lure these 5 star players.

Proviso West's Kyle Prater, who has been elevated to the No. 4 ranking in the nation in Rivals' evaluations and is arguably the best wide receiver in the country, continues to waver on his college choice.

Even though Prater's close friend, Proviso East safety Corey Cooper, who long ago committed to Illinois, has publicly stated that he believes Prater will join him in Champaign, Prater isn't ready to announce his choice.

He has over 40 scholarship offers. He said he has narrowed his list to six--Alabama, USC, Oklahoma, Illinois, Tennessee and Notre Dame. Many feel it will be a Illinois and Notre Dame race for his services.

Anonymous said...

But not just any ordinary way. I was traveling through Ohio towards the East Coast and eventually stopped in Martinsburg, West Virginia, and it was there that I found a small, cozy house where I could sense a Nintendo was present.

I knocked on the door and was welcomed in by a 40 year old man who was hanging out with two other young men, playing 8-bit Nintendo. I asked them if I could stay for the evening since I was traveling around, and I told them that I was Big Red. They let me stay, and I told them that they were very good, and that now they will be rewarded by watching me exhibit full domination at Tecmo Super Bowl.

I ordered the young woman there, the niece of the 40 year old man, to make a visit to the grocery store and purchase 3 cases of Old Milwaukee and a few Stouffer's frozen pizzas. Then, I sat down and told the three men to alternate playing against me in a season, as I would be the Seahawks.

I made my restrictions clear: I was not to be allowed to tamper with my playbook, and I was only allowed to run ONE play on offense: The Dave Kreig Play. This play requires picking a pass play and then rolling out and watching one of your running backs in the flat be tangled with a defender. You take your QB and ram him into said defender and shake him off using the B button, freeing up your running back in the flat to complete a short pass to.

The three guys rotated games and found that I was in full force and could not be stopped. Frustrated, they continued to doctor their playbooks and try different methods to stop James Earl Jones (my meal ticket who I put in place of Williams) from being freed up and making catches. I was 2-0 by the time that young woman returned from the store, and at that point I shotgunned a beer after every touchdown I scored in game #3. I strategically inserted Jeff Chadwick for Brian Blades, as Chadwick is a money player when it comes to throwing blocks for my man James Earl Jones. I got to 8-0, halfway point of the season, and in game #9 Krieg finally got injured on a sack. Right as he was carted off the field, the young woman in the kitchen said, "Stouffer's Pizzas are ready!"

I replied, "So is Kelly Stouffer."

She brought some Stouffer's Pizza in for me and I scarfed some down while inserting Kelly Stouffer in the game. He ran the Kreig play as smooth as owl shit, and before I knew it, I was 16-0 and those three dudes were amazed and ready to upset me in the playoffs.

Using Kansas City, the one guy got shutout by me 37-0. After that game, I pounded two beers from a bong and said, "Give me a little break here before the Championship." I drank four beers during that break and was completely rip-roaring drunk. I took a blindfold out and put it around my eyes and put the controller on the floor and took my sandles off.

In the AFC Championship, blindfolded and using my toes on the controller I routed the Raiders 45-3. Using ONLY the Dave Kreig Play on offense. I drank about 4 more beers since I had my hands free. They were about to give up at this point, and in the Super Bowl, I led 27-0 at the half and told them they must sacrifice the niece as a pleasure sacrifice. During the Mighty Bombjack Show, the young woman did a strip tease in front of me and poured more beer down my throat.

During the second half, she sat in my lap facing me. I wrapped my arms around her back and played with the controller behind her back, my face buried between her beefy, tan young breasts, and her bouncing up and down on my lubed-up shaft. The other two drunk dudes were cheering me on while the 40 year old dude, the uncle of the hot young woman, tried to focus as I groaned and sloshed more beer down my throat and let that hot skank gyrate on my crotch much like Tim McKyer's daughter did to me once. This went on until the end of the 4th quarter, and when James Jones waltzed into the endzone to make the final score 47-7, I released my offering and nudged that skank off of me and began shaking up cans of Old Mil and spraying them everywhere in celebration.

Anonymous said...

Frederick you should force your wife to the ground tie her up with chains and shave her.

You pussy

Frederick said...

My wife does fine on her own, thanks.

Anonymous said...

So wait Fredrick has REALLY never shaved a girl before?? Whoa whoa is he in 8th grade or something? Dude is pathetic if this is actually true.

Eddie G.

Anonymous said...

Has he ever touched a boob before? Lol

Eddie G.